All I Want For Christmas Is My Own Desktop Missile Deployment System

                                                 Malum Discordiae


I finally decided to break down and treat myself to an iPod nano for a Cubie Christmas present. I had been prepared to buy an iPod Mini, and before I could decide which color to get (how girly, I know), Apple had come out with the nano. Then I was slowed down even further when I learned that if you ordered online through the Apple website, you could get two lines engraved onto the machine.


                                                      Carpe Diem!

I knew the first line would contain my name, but what to put on the second line? I was almost certain I wanted the second line to be in Latin, so I started going through phrases, putting aside lines that I found appealing:

Alis volat propiis -- She flies with her own wings.

Audere est facere -- To dare is to do.

Braccae tuae aperiuntur -- Your fly is open.

Draco dormiens nunquam titillandus -- Never tickle a sleeping dragon.

Fabricati diem -- Make my day.  

 Fac ut vivas -- Get a life.

Id est mihi, id non est tibi! -- It is mine, not yours!

Intellectum valde amat -- Love the intellect strongly.

Latine loqui coactus sum -- I have this compulsion to speak Latin.

Omnes una manet nox -- The same night awaits us all.

Ubi spiritus est cantus est -- Where there is spirit there is song.

Ad eundum quo nemo ante iit -- To boldly go where no man has gone before.

                                      Cogito sumere potum alterum

While I pondered, there was controversy when a woman riding the Washington, D.C. Metro system had her iPod stolen off of her by a "gang of teenaged girls." The issue in the public mind surrounded the fact that Metro security wasn't effective in keeping people from being robbed and assaulted. Surprisingly enough, the girls were tracked down and the iPod recovered. I think the retrieval of the iPod threw a lot of people. Who would ever believe? One saving factor was...the woman had her name engraved on it.

I'm going to be a tease and not report on which phrase I chose. You figure it out. While I was cruising the net early this a.m. I found the perfect gift for the workplace: a desktop missile deployment system. I didn't check to see if it is offered in this country, but it is being sold by the British department store, Marks & Spencer: a USB toy with compressed-air darts, in a set of three, and Mac and PC compatible. Cube-ical warfare. You'll never know what hit you.

***  Remember:  You can also find Washington Cube at:

Washington Cube     http://washingtoncube.blogspot.com/

 

Can't We All Just Get Along?

 
I had to use personal time to get a billing problem straightened out with two doctor's offices. My new primary care physician (soon to be replaced) incorrectly made up a referral which later was rejected by a another's doctor's office, due to multiple entry errors, and I received a bill for close to $400.00. A friend went with me on the not-so-much-fun chore of returning to the primary doctor's office to get them to fix their mess. I wasn't thrilled with this little task, and I suppose some of my displeasure was showing, because while we were waiting in the reception area for the new paperwork, my friend picked up a children's book and said, "Let me read you a story."



He has this wonderful dulcet voice with calming tones, so I was game.  The book must have measured about 5 x 5 inches, and it was foam, covered in washable plastic, I suppose for those drool moments.  My friend was squishing the pages of the book, then held it up to his chest on display and said, "What a great idea.  Tactile and you can wipe the messes off of it.  Why don't Hustler and Playboy print their magazines this way?"  I choked back a nasty guffaw, while heopened the book and began to read.

The book was called The Rainbow Fish, and it is the story of a brightly scaled fish who has multi-colored glittery scales (holding up book to show you the picture), and one day a little, plainer fish swims up and asks Rainbow Fish if he might give up one of his pretty scales. Rainbow Fish refuses, and then all of the other little fish ignore him and he is lonely. Rainbow Fish goes to meet with the all- wise Octopus (holding up picture), and asks why he is so alone. I halted the reading at this point to say to my friend that I thought they had drawn the Octopus rather poorly, making him look like an elephant with eight trunks.




Where were we? Oh, yes. So the Octopus tells Rainbow Fish, "Give away your shining scales. You will not be as beautiful, but you will be happy." "See Rainbow Fish thinking about this?", my friend asked. I replied, "This story sucks." So Rainbow Fish swims off, and the next day a fish approaches him and asks for a pretty scale, and Rainbow Fish gives him one. In fact, Rainbow Fish gives away ALL of his scales until he has only one left. "Rainbow Fish wasn't as pretty as before, but now he had friends and swam off to play in the sea...the happiest fish." The End.




I looked at my friend, "Who wrote that garbage?" "Why this book was written by Marcus Pfister and translated into English by J. Alison James." "Translated into English? From what?" "This book was originally published by Nord-Sud Verlag AG, Gassau, Switzerland," he spoke in his still-reading-to-little-children voice, "It is a soft little book with it's message about sharing, and it is perfect for bath time, bed time, beach time, any time!," he said, reading from the back cover. Then he added, in the same tones, "What do I care if you take these hidden Nazi treasure scales from me? Just don't touch my numbered bank accounts." He sighed and added, "Those peace-loving Swiss."

 

 

Washington Cube     http://washingtoncube.blogspot.com/

Fade To White

 

I was out with a friend today, and we saw a aged lady talking to a postal carrier. She was quite tiny, white-haired, and extremely pale. He said that she looked "bleached by time," and I told him about pigment loss as we age... and other fossil facts.





He turned to me and said, "So. Are we on our way to being ghosts?




In the meantime, on your way to that fade to white.....

 

 

 

Washington Cube     http://washingtoncube.blogspot.com/

Cocktails of the Week: Tie Me To the Bedpost & Umbrella Man

  I hadn't wanted to post another cocktail entry so close to the Thanksgiving offering, but I am still researching what I wish to write about next. The irony is that I can do my homework and in the end find the whole piece falling apart and never coming to creation.  Such is the world of blogging.  I'm getting close to the end of the year, the end of my cocktail project, and the end of the alphabet.  This week's cocktails were Tie Me To The Bedpost and Umbrella Man.

The Tie Me To The Bedpost cocktail consists of the following ingredients:

 

1/2 ounce coconut rum

1/2 ounce melon liqueur

1/2 ounce sweet and sour mix

1/2 ounce lemon vodka

Shake with ice (re) strain and serve in an old-fashioned glass.

 

My brother (who did the Photoshop work on these two pictures) was funny.  I had taken the photographs of the cocktails and found the background art (in this case, the bed), but I had to laugh when I saw what he came up with in his creation.  When we spoke on the phone, he said (in all innocence), "If you think the Dominatrix is too much, I can take her out, but I'd like to leave the rope I made."  Not something you usually expect to hear a relative saying to you.  I asked friends what they thought, and they all said "leave it as it is."  So...not exactly PG-rated, but...

                                 Tie Me To The Bedpost Cocktail

 

 When I first heard of a cocktail called the Umbrella Man, it made me think of so many things, and it fascinates me how one idea will trigger a string of others including the lyrics to The Hollies song, Bus Stop:

 

                                    

                                     Bus stop, wet day, she's there, I say

                                  Please share my umbrella

                            Bus stop, bus goes, she stays, love grows

                                        Under my umbrella

                                                                        
                                 All that summer we enjoyed it

                                      Wind and rain and shine

                               That umbrella, we employed it

                                            By August, she was mine

 

Also the bespoke umbrellas made by the British firm Swaine, Adeney, & Bigg. They are a wonderful London company that has been in existence since 1750 when the company made whips (appropriate subject for this blog), and they have since expanded over time to hold a Royal Warrant to make leather goods and exquisitely crafted umbrellas.

                                                 Swaine Adeney Brigg

Their umbrellas are carried here in Washington by a company called Sterling and Burke, Ltd. on Connecticut Avenue: ClassicLuggage.com by Sterling and Burke Ltd

I also thought about the French film The Umbrellas of Cherbourg (Les Parapluies du Cherbourg) made in 1964 and starring Catherine Deneuve. Deneuve plays a 17-year old girl working in an umbrella shop with her widowed mother. The movie was novel for it's time in that all of the dialogue was sung. It's not well remembered, but Catherine had an older sister, also a beauty, and also an actress, named Francoise Dorleac.  She died in a car accident in 1967.


                                               Catherine et Francoise


Now, Memoirs of a Geisha is about to open in movie theatres, and there are even more umbrellas, lovely paper ones in the snow:



There are also intrigues surrounding the umbrella: in 1978 a Bulgarian dissident named Georgi Markov was killed by a poison dart filled with richin fired from an umbrella.

                                                Markov

Just after crossing Waterloo Bridge in London, Markov felt a sharp jab in his thigh and saw a man picking up an umbrella. He developed a high fever, and four days later he was dead. The only reason his assassination was not detected is that the pellet carrying the poison had not fully dissolved, as expected. Since that time two people suspected in the assassination died under odd circumstances: one in an unexplained car accident, the other committed suicide. The third suspect, a General, was sentenced to prison after destroying his ten volumes of material on the case. All had ties to the KGB.

                           Mysterious Umbrella Man on the Lower Left 

 

And then there is the infamous mystery man: The Umbrella Man connected to the JFK assassination. His actions have long been speculated on in terms of being a signaler to the assassin, and JFK Umbrella Man remains a mystery to this day.   The Umbrella Man

 

                                               Umbrella Man Cocktail

Lastly, I thought of the French artist Rene Magritte who used umbrellas frequently in his paintings. His bowler-hatted men fell from the sky like rain, held umbrellas, even danced with them...as did Gene Kelly in Singing in the Rain.  The Umbrella Man cocktail is created in equal parts use the following:

vodka, coffee liqueur, Bailey's Irish Cream, Grand Marnier orange liqueur, Drambuie Scotch whiskey

Mix in a shaker with ice, serve in a highball glass with a tiny paper umbrella. Oh yes...more umbrellas...for cocktails.

A Postscript:

Phil of The Playaz expressed disappointment in no mention of The Penguin from Batman (and his umbrella), so just for you, Phil:
























     

Washington Cube     http://washingtoncube.blogspot.com/

 

And Another One For My Little Friend--The Thanksgiving Cocktail

A drink called the Thanksgiving Cocktail.  Have a wonderful day with family and friends.

 

 

                           Thanksgiving Cocktail

  
                      1 1/2 ounces Wild Turkey Bourbon Whiskey
                      1/2 ounce Applejack Brandy
                      1 teaspoon Rose's Lime Juice
                      4 ounces Cranberry Juice



*

                           Nothing says "Thanksgiving" like drunk pets

 

 

*Thank you to The Bro for his photoshop work

 

Washington Cube     http://washingtoncube.blogspot.com/

Benjamin Franklin: Geeke Or Nerde Charting Your Virtues...All 13 Of Them

 

             "I had them put in some low lights" ~~ Benjamin Franklin




This past weekend was odd in that I kept receiving telephone calls from the people that provide me beauty services. The first call was from the hair stylist to pass on that another stylist had "quit" rather abruptly (I later heard "fired,") and "what does it all mean", keeping in mind that my stylist recently had a house built on the Eastern Shore and is commuting back to the Washington area mid-week to work. I'm asking myself how much longer they will be around. Then my manicurist called to tell me she's quitting and moving to a new upscale spa where she will have better pay and full health coverage, but concerns over losing clients and would I be following her and so forth (yes on the following), and then I heard from the skin esthetician who called to say the owner of her shop was moving to New Hampshire where her husband is being relocated for work, and the owner will be managing the salon from there. We went over her concerns about someone trying to manage a long-distance business and how long that situation would last before it collapsed, affecting her future business and would I be following (yes), and thus it went so that by this morning I was thinking of blogging a piece about the transitory nature of beauty services and how we either stay or shift and how often the shifting is done with some cross over back and forth to the same salons and spas, and the whole incestuous networking of the beauty field as a career. I was googling around this morning looking for a photograph of an old-fashioned chart made up of multi-colored pieces of string to show the confusion of these transitions, and while I was searching I stumbled onto something that sent me into an entirely different direction. When I told Direct Current about these changes in the game plan, he told me I was suffering from "BADD: Blog Attention Deficit Disorder."    DirectCurrent    http://directcurrent.blogspot.com/

 

 

 

              Apparently Ben has problems with being messy

                                 and keeping his mouth shut

 

 

What altered my writing plan was this. I stumbled upon a photograph of a chart that Benjamin Franklin created to track his success in fulfilling life's 13 virtues. By further research I learned that Franklin devised this plan when he was 20 years old. Quoting from The Bible, Phillippians 4:8 : "Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report, if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise,think of these things." (King James Version). Takingthis idea and running with it, Franklin created a list of 13 virtues:

1. Temperance: Eat not to dullness and drink not to elevation.

2. Silence: Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself. Avoid trifling conversation.

3. Order: Let all your things have their places. Let each part of your business have its time.

4. Resolution: Resolve to perform what you ought. Perform without fail what you resolve.

5. Frugality: Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself: i.e. Waste nothing.

6. Industry: Lose no time. Be always employed in something useful. Cut off all unneccessary actions.

7. Sincerity: Use no hurtful deceit. Think innocently and justly; and if you speak, speak
accordingly.

8. Justice: Wrong none, by doing injuries or omitting the benefits that are your duty.

9. Moderation: Avoid extremes. Forebear resenting injuries so much as you think they
deserve.

10. Cleanliness: Tolerate no uncleaniness in body, clothes or habitation.

11. Chastity: Rarely use venery but for health or offspring. Never to dullness, weakness,
or the injury of your own or another's peace or reputation.

12. Tranquility: Be no disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.

13. Humility: Imitate Jesus and Socrates.

From everything I read, Franklin followed this plan until late in his life, mapping out on his charts whether or not he had succeeded with his day. He tracked out his progress by using a little book of 13 charts. At the top of each chart was the name of the virtue, and the chart had a column for each day of the week, with thirteen rows marked with the first letter of each of the virtues. At the end of each day, he would review his day, it's successes and failures, and he would dutifully make a circular dot mark next to the virtue for each fault he believed he had committed that day: his ultimate goal being, of course, to have a chart that was mark free. I've read that at first he found the pages covered with dots, but as time went on he b<SPANSTYLE="FONT-FAMILY: ms? trebuchet>egan to see the dots diminish. To quote from Wikipedia, "He eventually realized that perfection was not to be attained, but felt himself better and happier because of his attempt."

                                    

                              Ben Jah Man Flow Charts His Day

What a nerd! If they had pocket protectors in the 18th century, you just know Franklin would have been wearing one. I'm surprised he didn't take it further and use different colored inks to mark his levels of failure: blue (not too much off the mark), black (about average), and red (whoa!). Little gold and silver stars when he had a bang-up day of success. If Franklin were alive today, I have no doubt he would have been the inventor of the emoticons. :) I loved the idea that he always had these projects going, checked his progress and knowing he was falling short of perfection, still ending up better than when he started off. Franklin would have been an amazing software engineer. Binary code was meant for him. He could write (wait for it) Benary code. And you just know he'd be at every Trekkie convention. It's logical. ;)

                      14.  Vulcan:  Live Long And Prosper.

 

 

 

** Once again, I must credit the wonderful brother with the great Photoshop work on Mr. Franklin.

 

 

 

Washington Cube     http://washingtoncube.blogspot.com/

Cocktails Of The Week: Red-Headed Woodpecker And Sputnik

It's funny. When I made the New Year's Resolution to have "a cocktail a week," my friends had said, "Well..work your way through the alphabet a few times," and here it is with the end of the year approaching, and only if I'm diligent will I have made it through once. With a record like this, how will I ever be part of that louche lush life society?

The cocktails this week were "R" and "S": Red-Headed Woodpecker and Sputnik, followed with some Lemon Drop Martinis to cleanse the palate. I had an idea in my head of what I wanted to do with the photography. It would involve my brother's skills, so I took the drinks out to the bar's patio area, and I used my black coat as a backdrop to set the drinks off in the light. A man who looked vaguely like Joe Isuzu came wandering out with his drink and a cigarette and said, "Are you getting ready to do a magic trick?" Well. In a sense I was, through the wizardry of Photoshop, but more on that later.



I used to have about four or five species of woodpecker come into my yard. Most are smaller with dots of red on their heads, but every so often I would see a pileated woodpecker which is the largest species in North America (19 inches) and is the origin of the Woody Woodpecker cartoon character with it's shock absorbing red crown. Sometimes you will see things in nature that will stop you dead in your tracks, and this bird can do it. Here's how you make the Red-Headed Woodpecker cocktail:

2 ounces Malibu coconut rum
1 ounce Amaretto almond liqueur
2 ounces orange juice
2 ounces pineapple juice
splash of cranberry juice

Pour ingredients into shaker with ice and serve in a hurricane glass. I garnished mine with a strawberry impaled on a straw to duplicate a woodpecker's head with the green of the strawberry duplicating it's crown.


Table for One? The Red-Headed Woodpecker Cocktail



When the Russians successfully launched their satellite called Sputnik in 1957, it heralded a turn in the Cold War. It was the first time the Russians had the chance to control space with the threat of nuclear power always looming large in the background, but it affected culture as well.




You can still find retro Sputnik light fixtures at auctions, and Vegas lounge singer Louis Prima recorded a song called "Beep, Beep, Beep," that was basically a song about his girlfriend going to the moon, and as the lyrics tell you:

My baby's going on a trip to the moon,
And she won't be back soon.
She doesn't write me, and I can't sleep
All I hear from her is BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

All of the beeps and bloops were not provided by the singer, but rather sound effects culled from cheesy sci-fi flicks. And the space race began. Here's how you make the Sputnik cocktail. I borrowed some toothpicks to decorate the cherry and keep the drink thematic:

1 1/4 ounces Vodka
1 1/4 ounces Peach Schnapps
3 ounces orange juice
3 ounces light cream

Mix all ingredients in shaker with ice until frothy. Pour into brandy snifter glass and garnish with cherry with four toothpicks to duplicate the satellite. The original instructions say to garnish with a peach slice, but I prefer my method for the visual.



Beep! Beep! Beep!....the Sputnik Cocktail



*** I would like to thank my brother, battling the flu, for using his graphic artistic talent in creating these images. I provided him with the raw material, but it was his skillful manipulations that really made the pictures work.

 

Washington Cube     http://washingtoncube.blogspot.com/