Last Saturday, I drove out to Tower Records, and while I was on Rockville Pike, within seconds of each other, and one block apart, I have two massive "who are these assholes" moments. The first was a car from Indiana attempting to make a left turn where the road was clearly marked as "No Left Turn" (see signs).
This Is How We Do Things In Indiana...
The second was the light at Rockville Pike and Nicholson Lane. The way the light sequence runs is: ongoing traffic goes first on the green light; people making a left turn go second on the green. I was the lead car waiting to make a left turn, sitting at a red light. While I sat, another car whipped in front of me to cut me off, but they also had part of their car blocking the middle lane, which was ongoing green light traffic. The cars in the middle lane were honking like mad at this woman who sat there placidly, as this act obviously had nothing to do with her, despite the fact she weas sitting out there jamming up the entire road.
Miz Asshole Green Range Rover.....
Here's another odd observation. There is a severely handicapped Hispanic man that begs in D.C. during rush hours. On this same afternoon in Rockville, I saw him getting off a Montgomery County Ride On bus and set up shop on this street corner at the Pike and Nicholson Lane. I wonder if he has a schedule mapped out of where he needs to be at given times and days. Once I saw him tag team off a corner when another handicapped man came to replace him. In this same neighborhood there used to be a female beggar. She always had a leg brace on her left leg. Her sign always said "Mother of Six." One day she screwed up, and the brace was on her right leg. Oopsie, Moms.
It's obvious you don't have to be intelligent to drive a car. I stopped by the Department of Motor Vehicles and snatched a copy of the study book for new drivers:
Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?
A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do."
Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
A: Your car.
Q: How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?
A: Be too shit-faced to find your keys.
Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?
A: I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.
Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being passed?
A: Make eye contact and wave "hello" if she is cute.
Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
A: The color.
Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?
A: Heavy psychedelics.
We're all doomed.
Postscript: A friend kindly and jokingly has pointed out to me that this is exactly the kind of blog entry I swore I would never write, but here's that rainy day....
*** Remember: You can also find Washington Cube at:
2 comments:
Traffic ? Bad drivers ? Beggar Fakirs ? Yikes ! What else happened that day ? Did the barista at *$ made a mistake on your order before you drove into that mess ? And when you got to Tower, could you find parking ? Or did somebody cut up in line or take the last copy of that CD you wanted ? And then .. oh wait ... wrong blog... never mind... =)
I know this sounds just like "you know who" and her usual whiney rantings. Call it a slow day and the small satisfaction that came from photographing the misguided in the act.
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